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Komarran trade
Jun. 13th, 2016 09:56 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vorbarraIt's not the first time this has happened.
Neither Gregor nor Duv are the sort of people to race to the finish line, as if sex were a contest or a task to be accomplished. They're both busy enough, Gregor especially, that when they do have time to see each other they're prone to savoring it, quietly and respectfully and, frankly, most of the time, sweetly. That suits Gregor just fine. Sometimes this leads to sex, as it had tonight, and when it doesn't it doesn't bother them. This attitude translates to their approach to intimacy as well, with their foreplay unhurried, almost more the point than getting each other off.
It's something Gregor has cherished deeply about Duv, this space to be completely unpressured about physical intimacy, where they are both on the same page without discussion. It means when they do sleep together it's emotionally affecting for him, love swelling up inside him and making him tender and overwhelmed. Sometimes, this also means he forgets himself. And even further down inside than Gregor's well of deep affection are desires that he has been ashamed of his whole life, and accordingly never let up for air.
With Duv, he's resurrected one of them: that he's attracted to men and not women, explaining a considerable amount of his early life problems with dating, or even caring enough to try to date, anyone. Gregor has mostly made peace with that now. But the rest of what's down there... when it does bubble up to the surface, with what Gregor can only think of as a misplaced sense of security, he corrects himself with alacrity.
His hand, which had reached out to reposition Duv where he wanted him, palm firmly to the back of his neck and pressing his head down to the sheets and holding it there, snatches back. His heart leaps to his throat. God, and of all people to do this to-- Duv, who already displays so much trust by being with the Barrayaran Emperor, to force him into acting subservient-- resulting nausea absolutely kills any arousal Gregor had been feeling, and he vainly tries to recover it. Tries to smooth over his reaction and move on, as he's always done before.
"Sorry," he breathes out.
Neither Gregor nor Duv are the sort of people to race to the finish line, as if sex were a contest or a task to be accomplished. They're both busy enough, Gregor especially, that when they do have time to see each other they're prone to savoring it, quietly and respectfully and, frankly, most of the time, sweetly. That suits Gregor just fine. Sometimes this leads to sex, as it had tonight, and when it doesn't it doesn't bother them. This attitude translates to their approach to intimacy as well, with their foreplay unhurried, almost more the point than getting each other off.
It's something Gregor has cherished deeply about Duv, this space to be completely unpressured about physical intimacy, where they are both on the same page without discussion. It means when they do sleep together it's emotionally affecting for him, love swelling up inside him and making him tender and overwhelmed. Sometimes, this also means he forgets himself. And even further down inside than Gregor's well of deep affection are desires that he has been ashamed of his whole life, and accordingly never let up for air.
With Duv, he's resurrected one of them: that he's attracted to men and not women, explaining a considerable amount of his early life problems with dating, or even caring enough to try to date, anyone. Gregor has mostly made peace with that now. But the rest of what's down there... when it does bubble up to the surface, with what Gregor can only think of as a misplaced sense of security, he corrects himself with alacrity.
His hand, which had reached out to reposition Duv where he wanted him, palm firmly to the back of his neck and pressing his head down to the sheets and holding it there, snatches back. His heart leaps to his throat. God, and of all people to do this to-- Duv, who already displays so much trust by being with the Barrayaran Emperor, to force him into acting subservient-- resulting nausea absolutely kills any arousal Gregor had been feeling, and he vainly tries to recover it. Tries to smooth over his reaction and move on, as he's always done before.
"Sorry," he breathes out.
