Mark Pierre Vorkosigan / "Peter Kane" (
jacksonian) wrote in
barrayar2016-01-22 09:49 pm
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I am junking up this beautiful community with this junk
All the other starters are so beautiful but instead I'm coming in and ruining everything with this useless post with this sad sack
Comment to this post and I will write you something
Comment to this post and I will write you something
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Because the main point is a hell of a big one. Miles isn't precisely surprised to hear Mark is an assassin - of course he would be if he expected to show up and pretend to be Miles Vorkosigan - but his answer is immediate and clear, like the ringing of a bell. Gregor has to ask?
He's my brother regardless. Of course I want him. Fierce and bright, a smaller version of the pillar of fire usually reserved for Gregor. It fades a bit faster, though, shrouded by worry. What does he want? Because that, to Miles, is the most important thing. Vitally important. He's decided to protect and defend this little sibling of his to the ends of the nexus, but he also desperately understands the need to do it his own way. Miles always has, after all. He would chafe to be protected, belligerently demand back his dangers if necessary. ]
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I'm glad you feel that way, because I've just taken him as a liege-sworn, and secured his oath not to attack anyone. Yes, unbreakable. So we're quite stuck with him. Gregor sounds remarkably cheerful about that, even smug.
It fades to seriousness as he gently shuffles his newest subject's presence forward, clearing the murky obscurity between the two of them and letting their feelings go both ways, just faintly, just in traces, but enough to feel each other undeniably.
You should ask him yourself.]
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He's my brother. Of course I want him. He wants to laugh himself silly. Or be sick. Or cry. All this time, all that scrutiny, and they never even knew that Lord Vorkosigan was insane. All this time, hating him - and he still hates him, he thinks, he still hates Miles Vorkosigan - and still the man's love is kindled quicker than an electrical fire. Even knowing what the clone was made for. Even knowing what he was sent for.
He has the stupidest urge to suddenly hide behind Gregor. He's small enough. He can fit in the Emperor's shadow. But...even so, he reaches out, and he sends a hesitant, awkward, shaky Hello. ]
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Or. Well. They're face to face, at least; that's a start. Miles, in contrast to Gregor - surely in contrast to Mark as well - is loud and brilliant and impossible to ignore. Even going a bit dimmer and cautious here, he's a blinding force of nature before anything else. He has to remind himself not to trample this thing before it's even started. Bracing himself mentally against Gregor - a faint, tiny thread of jealousy, perhaps so small that only Gregor can sense it - he brings himself to bear on Mark. Hello, he says rather breezily. Welcome to the Barrayaran Telepathic Tightbeam Network. Did Gregor teach you how to shield? Surely he did - I'm told I'm rather loud. And fast, everything tumbling out in one manic flare of information. ]
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He feels like a fly on the wall for this conversation, honestly, a little embarrassed to be intruding, as he had when Miles had had his touching exchange with Aral after the treason charge. But this can't happen without him facilitating it (they're not sworn to each other) and furthermore, Gregor can feel that urge in Mark (?) to hide behind him. That twinge of jealousy gets noted to be brought up later; he accepts Miles's weight and tries to blunt some of the force of personality that attempts to flow through. He doesn't mind it but he is well aware everyone else in existence finds Miles a lot to swallow all at once.
But otherwise... he finds himself reluctant to interfere with this meeting in any way, the first honest one, and sits back quietly.]
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The effect is both dazzling and painful. Like a light being shone directly into someone's eyes when they've adjusted to the dark. And so the clone does the only rational thing, driven by one part a desire to demonstrate, one part defiance, and one part a need for a moment to regroup: he shuts off the connection, firmly and completely, a door being closed firmly. But not slamming shut. It's not desperate, but deliberate. ]
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Good fucking job Miles, you ruined it. The rejection kind of stings, in fact, like an indirect hit on a very old wound. (Nothing like the jagged raw edges he gets from other kinds, but - instantly sore.) But at the same time he kind of deserved it, didn't he? So much for just trying to run over the situation and sort out the details later.
He sighs in frustration for a moment, mostly directed inward. Less noisy, dammit, less overbearing ... He hates making himself any smaller, mentally OR physically, but he tries to tone himself down. For his brother's sake. (It's so strange having to do that compared with the utter freedom he has with Gregor, just for starters.)
It takes all of his somewhat drained reserve of patience to just wait for a moment, to stare at his brother's door and just be there when it reopens again. If it reopens again.
(And in the meantime, another private wail to Gregor: I really am too loud.) ]
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Hell, it was probably terrifying; he'd felt that well of fear as deep as Miles's self-image issues, but Gregor isn't going to pass secrets in any direction. He tries to give Miles some of his patience laced with the now familiar current of his acceptance.
And try not to press him on being a Vorkosigan, or even named Mark. It's... a lot for now. One thing at a time, okay?]
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So, firmly unbalanced. Great.
This time, he takes firm control of the conversation. He pushes back by asserting himself the only way he knows how. He makes an offering of a part of his identity - but attaches to it worth, too. Here. I can offer you things. I'm not a stray you're taking in. I'm a warrior in my own right. You want intelligence on the plot, don't you? We know you work for ImpSec. Obviously. Gregor didn't care so much, but you'll want this intel. ]
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When M - his brother reappears, he's quiet. Receptive. Nearly gentle. His flames tamped down to a candle, bright and cheerful.
He wants to do the ImpSec angle? Okay, sure. He's curious anyway, interest brightening him. How did all this come about? Tell me then. What were you trying to do? ]
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It helps to have something to talk about that doesn't involve emotions. Because it doesn't have to involve emotions. His report on this matter can stick exclusively to the facts and nothing more. And - it's useful.
And maybe it'll be horrific enough to kill Miles Vorkosigan's love here and now. Throat-cut like an infant fallen prey to Barrayaran prejudices.
Destabilization of Barrayar in order to enable another Komarran rebellion. This one successful. I was to eliminate you and return to Barrayar after your death, after which I would eliminate your father and the Emperor. When I took the throne, I'd withdraw all Barrayaran troops from Komarr. Freedom for their planet. I can give details on the conspirators in the plot. Bases they kept, sources of their funding. I wasn't supposed to know those last details, they weren't supposed to be my business, but I managed to find them out. The last is asserted with a little fierce wave of pride. ]
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And yet - Miles can only feel morbid fascination working it out. The wheels in his head turn visibly as he lays out the problem, working it through to its conclusion.
You realize that would kill all of us, Komarr included? Even assuming you were able to get on the throne - my god. You'd be torn apart in a matter of days. And then, to make it less like he's doubting his brother (because really, he isn't), he adds: I'd be torn apart in a matter of days if I tried. Chaos to screen another move by the Komarrans, at best. The only thing anyone in the line of the succession really wants is for Gregor to live forever. Or, failing that, have approximately ten children. ]
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All I do is field queries about when I'm reproducing, he agrees, sounding dry as the desert. As for Miles... God. I wish it worked that way. He's almost been executed once already because someone came up with some shady evidence that he was trying to stage a try for the throne. One whiff of it and you'd be dead and no one'd check your bones, or care. Otherwise I'd have foisted this snake pit off on Ivan years ago.
I also note there was no provision for Cetaganda in this plan-- or was there? It's the actual Emperor's sense of inevitable implications, that inexorable push toward politics. There's a sense of a million variables shuffling themselves in the back of his brain that Gregor has to stifle.]
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To suppress that, he focuses on the other half: But that was the plan. That doesn't mean that's how it was going to go. There's nothing to say that I couldn't outlast you, he thinks fiercely at his progenitor. Maybe you'd get torn apart. That doesn't mean I would.
And then he turns his attention briefly to the Emperor. The feeling he extends to him is wordless, but...sincere. He didn't really want the throne. Doesn't. But if he was going to be sat down hard on that camp stool, then he was going to do a good job of it. Everyone assumed - and still assumes - that he'd get eaten alive. But he's smarter than any of them give credit for. ]
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Unfortunately, he's not sure his brother would escape those handicaps either. No, you're right, he admits. But I doubt your captors planned for much more than chaos. Expected less. And then: Play me all you like, but mind that you don't get terribly burned in the process. ]
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A pause, before he says more softly, directly to his new subject, I've no doubt you'd attempt to rule well. But it has nothing to do with smarts. The Imperium is-- well. You're not so different from me, I think; imagine it this way.
Gregor flashes an image of the Council of Counts in full session, filled to the brim with people, and he's sitting on the camp stool in the direct middle on a dais, looking out at all the rest. Every single eye is fixed on him, and he cannot show any weakness, cannot twitch, cannot put one syllable out of order or he will create a crack others can exploit against him.
It's that, all the time.]
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But that brushes too closely to things charged with emotion. And emotion is something he doesn't want to bleed over. So instead, he continues on. Chaos is all they really needed. Then the Komarrans would rise up. They've been so mistreated for so many years, and they're already on the brink of it... Though that's rhetoric that's lost its teeth since the clone has been allowed access to news sources. There's not even a hint of that. But even if they didn't, I think Ser Galen would be content with just seeing Barrayar hurt. And Aral Vorkosigan. ]
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<I think you are right. It would hurt my father very keenly - destroy him, multiple times over. If he was permitted to live to see it.
He chills, faintly, to consider it in that light. ]
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Indeed, Gregor is chilled to imagine that happening to Aral, too, enough so to take the familiar depressed sting out of being reminded that a large subsection of his people are unhappy with his rule.
Galen was a major figure in the Komarran Revolt that took place when I was nine. I'm not surprised you don't remember it, Miles. Your father had to deal with it directly.]
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His sister, Rebecca Galen, was killed on Aral Vorkosigan's orders.
Better that than touching the worry and love for the Butcher radiating off the both of them. ]
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And then, an abrupt swirl of uncertainty. His instinctive response to that, of course, is to repeat that his father ordered no such thing, that it was a subordinate, his father would never do that for so many reasons - but they're trying not to sour this thing before it starts, dammit. Miles won't let the issue be him. Stubbornness to make this work overtakes stubbornness to his father's honor, temporarily.
Well, mostly. He's here, you know. And the undercurrent of warning: don't you dare say that to his face. ]
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Would you... prefer to deal with that later? You've some gross misconceptions about him but I thought you might have had enough of my talking at you for one night.
Wry self-awareness in that.]
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He'd kill me. ]
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Don't be ridiculous, Aral Vorkosigan would sooner fall on his sword than turn a hand against his own son. He's no stomach for it. Half the genius of you as an assassin is even if he knew who you were, he'd be hard-pressed to fight you.
But yes, we will talk to him, so if the character testimony doesn't assure you, let that do it. Anyway, you should really speak to Lady Vorkosigan first. There's no such complications there, are there? She's so Betan.]
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