I am junking up this beautiful community with this junk

[jacksonian]

All the other starters are so beautiful but instead I'm coming in and ruining everything with this useless post with this sad sack
Comment to this post and I will write you something

Comments

[dendarii]

[ Oh, fine. He'll behave. A muted apology to both Gregor and his brother.

At that, though ... eh. A mental shrug. I really doubt that. I think they wanted more children very badly, both of them. Another small undercurrent there, the various reasons why ... ]

[vorbarra]

[It's just so delicate, Gregor doesn't want Miles to trod over any piece of this building relationship with his usual flair for the dramatic.

He has to completely smother his own childhood traces of longing that he could actually be their son, instead of their half-adopted foundling groomed to the Imperium. Gregor has mostly gotten over that now, and in any case, he can't regret not being Miles's brother, which is a train of thought he does not dare to go down with guests in his head.

Why would he hate you? he asks prosaically instead. You're forgetting the reframing so soon, hm? You're my subject now. Barrayaran. You've committed no crimes that I know; he's nothing to hate you for.]

[jacksonian]

[ That's...true. That is true. His only real crime so far has been firing his stunner at Miles Vorkosigan, and that's rather small in the grand scheme of things. But - But that wouldn't stop the Butcher, right? He's brutal and unforgiving. And besides -

Collusion with the enemy. Conspiracy. ]

[dendarii]

[ Defecting to the right side, though. With valuable intel. He can counter strategy with strategy too if need be. ]

[vorbarra]

[You swore directly to me; no one's going to argue with that on the matter of your past, I assure you. And he can counter with pure implacable legal status, if necessary.]

[jacksonian]

[ And since when did legal status have anything to do with hatred? But...Valuable intel. Right. That'll matter to a soldier like Aral Vorkosigan. ]

[dendarii]

[ I think it will work out better than you think. He decides to wind down a bit there, though, not wanting to set up too much for or against this meeting. Better let his father handle things, albeit properly warned ... ]

[vorbarra]

[Right. Gregor refrains from trying to convince him any further that legal status and personal loyalties are essentially inseparable for Barrayar and it will mean far more to Aral than he thinks.

In any case, let's not deal with it now. This has been more than enough for one evening. We'll blunt his reaction for you, all right?]

[jacksonian]

[ And Mark finally sits back and speaks. His voice is rusty. ]

Okay.

[ And then he rubs at his face. He feels beyond exhausted. And not free, like he feels he ought to feel...Not yet. He's dizzy right now. Confused. ]

[dendarii]

[ The kitchen is quiet too for a moment; then, the sounds of Miles putting away his aborted attempt to make tea. He's gone quiet on Gregor's side of the link too, needing a moment himself. ]

[vorbarra]

[Gregor, meanwhile, is used to being the one who has to keep trodding forward no matter what.]

I imagine you want some time to yourself now. There's an extra room upstairs if you'd like to sleep there, [he says to Miles's brother quietly, his own voice a bit creaky but clearing quickly.] Or you may leave; that isn't an order. If you have questions for me later, please let me know. At any time.

[The heavy weight of his words and his eyes try to impress upon him how serious he is about that.]

[jacksonian]

Yeah. I, um...

[ He swallows hard. Licks his lips and looks towards the kitchen entrance. ]

Is there...I'm going to -

[ And then, a little uncertainly, he gets to his feet and shuffles into the kitchen. He doesn't look at his brother/progenitor/target/enemy as he does - he just grabs for the cheese, and takes it with him as he stumbles up the stairs to his room. The emotional link is shut tight by the time he closes the door after him. ]