idk I guess I still play this dumb asshole

[flammatory]

Tag me or something. Let me know if you have a preference for canon point (I usually default to post-show with some comics inspo). Also feel free to comment blank and I'll make a prompt.

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[flammatory]

It's true that Zuko's not in a mental state to be particularly understanding right now. Oddly, thinking of this as a Council-mandated reassignment is what makes it easier to bear; he struggles to imagine himself following anyone but Iroh, which he knows is an unhealthy attachment, and one he should let go of even with his Master's death. Easier said that done.

Obi-Wan's straightforward acknowledgement and gentle, respectful welcome makes his throat uncomfortably tight. He hadn't really expected less, but being confronted with it is another matter. Everything is still too raw for Zuko to be used to accepting sympathy, something he'd always been particularly graceless at anyway.

He forces himself to focus on his breathing and reorient himself to the present. Zuko wants to say something self-denigrating, but in the context of Iroh as his master rather than Zuko as the student... He can't. "Thank you," he finally returns, the picture of awkward. Suddenly it clears as he thinks of his own intentions again, and his tension resolves into determination. "I intend to honor his wishes for me as much as I can. I won't disappoint his memory, or his faith in me." That seems a Code-approved way of coping, with the teaching that those lost have never truly gone. It's nothing less than the truth of how he feels, anyway.

Apart from that... he doesn't know what to say, and Zuko has never been eloquent. Everything seems to have swelled up inside him-- too much-- until, curiously, it fades, leaving a sense of distance and abstraction. It all seems so unreal. What he has to hold onto is his training, is getting better, improving as Master Iroh would've wanted him to.

i'm sorry this was supposed to be a guardian meme and iT JUST TURNED INTO WAR

[obinaw]

"I know you won't. Please, Zuko, sit. Before we begin, we must talk."

As if in demonstration - as Zuko is, it seems, a formal young man even though Iroh's reports have suggested one as strong-willed and obstinate as Obi-Wan himself, and Anakin before him - Obi-Wan has a seat, gesturing at the seat opposite him. If Zuko feels as though his every move is being closely watched... well, it's because it is. Observation is just one part of being a good Master, and while others would argue with him, Obi-Wan considers himself a very good Master indeed, Anakin's fits of pique aside; he is proud of what he has become, and he thinks that he will be proud of what Zuko will become as well, given time.

"You see, young one, while you have seen much fighting already, our position is on the front lines of this war. You have been prepared for this moment, but to work together underneath such circumstances, we must have trust in one another - I in you, and you in me. And while I have no doubts that you have been taught well, the only way to learn trust is to earn it."

And that goes for the both of them. Of course, they'll find themselves in the field before trust is earned (they simply don't have the luxury to spend time with one another in the way Obi-Wan would prefer, not anymore, not with so many lives on the line), but he hopes to spend as much quality time with him as possible first.

"So first, I ought to ask - do you have any questions?"

He doubts the boy will be terribly forthcoming, but he has to ask. If nothing else, the mere absence of questioning will tell him just as much as his questions would.

typical Zuko problem tbh

[flammatory]

Retreating into formality is about the only way he knows how to deal with this set of circumstances without embarrassing himself-- something he is keenly desperate not to do, considering how preciously Zuko counts his dignity-- but the fact is that it doesn't come naturally to him, and accordingly, doesn't last long.

He follows Obi-Wan further into the living quarters and takes the indicated seat, his uncertainty and remoteness disappearing at this warning. If anything, it's a relief. Zuko is so bad at idleness, and having something like the war to take his mind off of things sounds just about perfect.

He tries to rest his hands calmly on his thighs but ends up clenching them into fists, leaning forward unconsciously as he answers. "I won't let you down," he says in the tone of a fierce promise. "I've always felt like I should be contributing more to the war." Master Iroh had reasons to keep him away from the fighting, he's sure, but... but it had never seemed right to him. "We probably can't stay here long, right? You'll have to return to the front? Don't waste time here on my account if you're needed there."

Zuko is, as ever, ready to jump right in and brush past as much self-reflection as possible. Is this the kind of question he'd been looking for? Oh well.

[obinaw]

Obi-Wan smiles a little, ducking his head. He's eager to get going, as most young ones are. He can't say that Zuko doesn't know what the heat of battle is like as it is - after you've watched your Master die, nothing is ever the same - but he certainly isn't wholly aware of the scope of what he's thrusting himself into. He is young, still, and full of eagerness to prove himself to...

To himself, Obi-Wan imagines, which is the most difficult person to appease of all. But eagerness to fight is certainly not the sort of question he had in mind, and not one that he will be entertaining for very long. "Rest assured, if we were needed in battle, that is indeed where we would be. No, I have Council business here, so it should be some time before we are out on the front lines once more. Anakin and Ahsoka have things on the front line well in hand for now - you will get to know them as well, in time."

And those are names that Zuko will know as well, he imagines; Anakin's racked up quite a reputation for himself, and while Ahsoka has accomplished much on her own, he knows that her name is mostly spoken alongside Anakin's. Either way, it's common knowledge that despite the fact that Anakin is no longer his Padawan, they work together more often than not. There's a bond between Master and Padawan, and such a bond would be a foolish thing to waste, particularly when they work so well together, and when there are few other Jedi with the patience to handle Anakin and his many whims.

"That gives us more than enough time to prepare, and to get to know one another. And if you have no questions for me, I certainly have questions for you." He offers Zuko a small smile, hoping to put the young man at ease while simultaneously admitting to himself that it will likely do nothing of the kind. He'll lob a few softballs at him first before getting personal. It's only fair.

"Perhaps you can start by telling me of your experiences, and of the form of combat that you prefer."

[flammatory]

His new master doesn't seem displeased with him so far. Zuko hadn't honestly thought he would be, especially not someone who was a friend of Iroh's, but there's a driving pressure inside him to succeed. He knows searching for approval is another sign of unhealthy attachment, but while he's still learning, how else is he supposed to know if he's doing well? And it's never shameful to accept input from those with more experience than him.

He nods shortly, almost curt, at the directive that Obi-Wan has Council business here. Zuko doesn't think that the relative celebrity status of his new master and his formar Padawan is impacting him unduly-- his nerves have nothing to do with that. He'd be nervous no matter what, he's sure. Nothing seems totally real yet; he keeps catching himself acting as if Master Iroh is just waiting for him back in their quarters, or like he's taken a week long vacation to a hot spring and left him behind... And then the gruesome violence of his death flickers behind his eyes again, or Zuko has to turn his head to the left to compensate for his reduced peripheral vision, and it hits him like a solid blow all over again.

Nerves about his new assignment is normal. Healthy. His master had never taken him to ask for things like that... even though his emotions are Zuko's weakest point.

Questions for him are much easier than trying to figure out what he can ask, even wants to ask, that doesn't embarrass himself. "My master--" He swallows, pushes himself past it. "My master preferred Makashi. He always just smiled at people who told him it was outdated." Idiot, he probably knows that. And stop reminiscing -- it hurts. "I'm more naturally inclined to Ataru and more aggressive forms, and..." Zuko hesitates again. "Master Iroh said I great potential in combat applications of the Force, but he never judged me ready to begin training it. He said it was the last thing I should learn before the Trials. I have a lot of meditating to do before then," he finishes with a more natural, frustrated sigh.

It was a roadblock that he sometimes rebelled against, and he'd had more than one snide argument with Iroh about it (snide on his part, longsuffering on Iroh's), but in the wake of his death Zuko is unwilling to question his judgement again. Plus, he knows he's right. If there's ever a time Zuko's emotional control isn't adequate to learning violent applications of the Force, it's right now.

[obinaw]

"It is a common thing, to have to learn to control one's emotions before embarking on combat training, even when you are physically fit."

And if Master Iroh deemed that Zuko wasn't ready prior to now, after his Master's death? Zuko certainly isn't ready now. It's fortunate that Obi-Wan is no stranger to dealing with others' loss, and guiding them through it to the best of his abilities. Anakin has never truly gotten over it - but they had pushed him ahead anyway, knowing that his presence in the war was invaluable, trusting in his control to truly find serenity one day - but here, he thinks, he may have at least a bit more time.

"But I'm sure you know what this means, Zuko. I know that you do not wish to speak of it, that your grief is still raw, but in time, we must speak of your loss - and how you are coping with it. There are those who claim that rage is what truly turns us to the Dark Side, and while there is truth in that, I believe it has a more common root in loss, something that we have very little control over, save for what we do with it."

He settles his hands on his knees, remembering when he had lost his own Master, remembering how that had lit a flame in him he didn't know how to handle, how instead of further guidance, he was given a Padawan of his own, dealing with his own personal demons.

"You needn't speak of it now, if it is still too soon. But we must speak of it soon, and with honesty - when we speak of it, there are no wrong answers. The more honest we can be with one another, the faster you may find yourself a Knight."

While he may be playing off of Zuko's natural urges to progress in his life, to contribute to the war he had grown in the midst of, there is no dishonesty in his words, no great manipulation; he knows that should Zuko not be honest now, his grief will only grow over time, and turn into something new and sinister. They must speak of it now, and grieve together, and find hope at the end of the tunnel, at the end of all things.