It's a different sort of feeling, being afraid for someone else instead of being afraid for yourself. This is strange to realize; he'd have thought that fear is fear, that there'd be no real discernible difference between the one type of terror and the other. But to be afraid for himself - that's a low, dull sort of dread, fear and anticipation mixed with resignation. It's a helpless feeling. To be afraid for Nine is a high nerve-jangling sort of thing, two-thirds terror and one-third anticipatory grief. Being afraid for himself tamps him down, pushes him down, crushes him into a miserable sort of passivity. Being afraid for her makes him jerk up, eyes wide, pushing forward against the grip on his arm.

"Don't, Nine. Please don't," he says to her. God, it's easy to imagine what comes next. Her shocked into unconsciousness. Them deciding she's not worth it. An investment, but not that important an investment - dumping her somewhere to die, dumping her amongst their enemies just to do a little bit of damage...Him losing her, his one anchor and source of sanity. And so he jerks forward, trying to pull away from Ser Galen to go to her, lifting a hand and shoving hard against the man to try to get to nine - for the first time, committing an act of aggression against the man who created him.

The reaction to that is almost casual and thoughtless. He didn't injure Ser Galen when he pushed him, so none of the Komarrans worry about that. It's not a real act of targeted aggression, so there's no ripple of fear about whether they've lost control of Miles. And it's not like they're hesitant about this - they've done it many, many times before. One of the others steps in and delivers a jolt from the shock-stick, near full power; Miles collapses to his knees, gasping in agony, limbs trembling from the electricity.

The fear is worse than the pain.

Nine, don't do anything. Please don't do anything. Just back off. Please don't give them a reason to kill you, please -