[His life hasn't been all deprivation. Gregor has loved in careful, grateful amounts, directed at the appropriate parties. But loving with abandon, knowing it's allowed and there's no complications, no manipulation or deception behind it-- able to just lose himself in the feeling-- No, he's never done that. And he doesn't trust himself either, to lose himself in it.]
I didn't have these feelings then. They... they started right after. I've never felt like this before.
[Still speaking quietly, painfully, each word extracted from his soul. Gregor tugs his hand back over but only to take Miles's with it, pull it to his forehead and press it there in exhausted supplication, elbow braced on one upraised knee. He can't deny Miles's sincerity, which strips him of most of his objections. And he's not really objecting, truly, but he is... explaining.]
no subject
I didn't have these feelings then. They... they started right after. I've never felt like this before.
[Still speaking quietly, painfully, each word extracted from his soul. Gregor tugs his hand back over but only to take Miles's with it, pull it to his forehead and press it there in exhausted supplication, elbow braced on one upraised knee. He can't deny Miles's sincerity, which strips him of most of his objections. And he's not really objecting, truly, but he is... explaining.]