[His whole breathing is arrested, stutters to a stop, has to be started again. Then a shiver runs over him, a light tremor from head to toe.
It's okay. It's okay. Miles doesn't mind, he wouldn't lie to him... He wants him, he's not just appeasing him or deceiving him to make him happy, Gregor knows that because he can feel it. He hasn't closed the link. He just wanted to kiss his hand because he wanted to.
Gregor hasn't hurt him. Has he been denying himself this whole time for nothing? But somehow, that doesn't sting like it should, because he's too dazed at the complete reversal of what's going on in his head to care about that. All of his self-denial is so rote it's worn grooves in him, familiar tracks-- refusing to let himself act on his feelings for Miles, hating them and feeling ashamed of them, was just one new thing in a lifetime of containing himself.
But this one is... okay. More than okay, from what he can feel.
His eyes close. He takes it as a real question, admits in a low, bare whisper,] I scare myself.
no subject
It's okay. It's okay. Miles doesn't mind, he wouldn't lie to him... He wants him, he's not just appeasing him or deceiving him to make him happy, Gregor knows that because he can feel it. He hasn't closed the link. He just wanted to kiss his hand because he wanted to.
Gregor hasn't hurt him. Has he been denying himself this whole time for nothing? But somehow, that doesn't sting like it should, because he's too dazed at the complete reversal of what's going on in his head to care about that. All of his self-denial is so rote it's worn grooves in him, familiar tracks-- refusing to let himself act on his feelings for Miles, hating them and feeling ashamed of them, was just one new thing in a lifetime of containing himself.
But this one is... okay. More than okay, from what he can feel.
His eyes close. He takes it as a real question, admits in a low, bare whisper,] I scare myself.