wronganswer: (007)
ᴊᴜᴅɢᴇ Cassandra Anderson ([personal profile] wronganswer) wrote in [community profile] barrayar 2021-01-10 04:21 am (UTC)

Anderson's firmly in the headspace she uses to survive as a street Judge, so propriety's the last thing on her mind. The mindset is like balancing on a knife's edge of tension, keeping her sharp and narrowly focused on survival.

She does spare a thought to be appreciative that he's ready to move as fast as she is. It wouldn't change her determination to get them out of here, but it makes it a lot easier, and she knows all too well what this situation is like with an untrained citizen in tow instead. Her mind's already jumping ahead to the necessary cold calculations for what's coming next.

"One second." Down on one knee, she finishes applying the cuffs to the unconscious guard, and she briefly touches the crown of his head, eyes closing for a long second before she retracts her hand and straightens. "We have a couple hours before he wakes up."

Anderson doesn't need to be a psychic to sense his readiness, so she doesn't ask, but she does give a terse nod and reflexively checks her weapons before she goes out the door. In some ways, it feels like her whole life has prepared her for this moment: pretending to be a better Judge than she is doesn't feel any different than pretending she isn't about to walk out the door with a high-value prisoner. She's kept herself boxed in, squashed as much of herself as she could take in order to fit into the mold she'd needed to.

And she'd signed up to do that to be a Judge, to help citizens, to make a difference, but no one had ever asked her if she agreed to do that for the Empire. This is the best resignation notice she could think of, she reflects grimly.

So there's no shakiness to her as she assures the second guard outside the door that the prisoner should be left alone in her absence; or as she uses her comm to confirm they haven't found the prisoner's vehicle; or as she walks, calm and straight-backed, out the very door she'd come in. There's no shakiness until they're safely on Rex's ship and the hatch is closed behind them, and yes, it makes sense that he'd include her in the flight off the planet as payment for her help, but where is she going to go after this?

Her mouth needs to open and request a destination, but all she can do is close her eyes and try to steady her breathing as she feels all those minds slip away into the distance and then nothingness behind her as they jump to hyperspace.

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